goldenbluestar's posterous

I can wait minutes up to the hour, and nothing is said. You build your courage up after I leave, only to be shot down by someone else. Moments pass, but all you have is one moment to make it count. It's gone now. We're both left here to think what could have happened, what could have been said, what could have been made. I'm left with frustration, and you're left with hopelessness. To each its own.

At the end of the day, what have you done?

Did you make a difference with the world?

Finish the job that took so long to complete?

Did you say hi to that person you've been eyeing for a while?

or have you been sitting in the same spot wishing you had done something?

Are you thinking about having the last word so that you can feel a level above them?

Sulking at the thoughts that are eatting you.

Can't sleep so you find your self doing mindless tasks to forget your troubles for the time being.

You have no one but yourself to blame for not having anything done at the end of the day.

I guess we'll have to wait til tomorrow, wont we.

• I really should edit this paper that's due thursday, but then again my dishes are piling up.
• I need to study for spanish test. ooo new episodes are finally online!
• Eww the trash smells, I'll take it out when it fills up.
  
• My room is a mess, but I think I should wash my hair first
• Crap i'm running out of time to edit this paper, I wonder who's online now
• I tried to work out today...well the throught crossed my mind so it was an effort
• hello twitter, tumblr, netflicks, blogs
• I'll do this tomorrow, I'm tired

• grr I still keep getting up on east coast time
• I love how when I come home I get greeted with hugs from the people that are sick
  
• I'm suppose to get a surprise in the mail today, but will it be a good surprise?
• I didn't go to 789, but i'm not sad or disappointed because I got a better travel experience
• I do wish that I could have hung out with some of the people at 789 though
• I need to find a mini slide show for my pictures I took from the trip
• Why do I keep putting off my youtube videos?
• I'll miss you dearly, and you probably have no idea

I'm feeling sick. I think it's the fever. It only shows up when I least expect it. I can't find a medicine or a common cure to take it away. It takes over my body and mind. I start shaking, trimbling, and my heart acts like it's about to stop. The fever is taking over, and I can't control it. The doctors say it's nothing, and it's all in my mind. I need a cure, a release from this fever. I know person that can help me get over this fever, but will they do it?

Yesterday was the day we first talked

Yesterday we became friends

Yesterday I made plans to hang out with you

Yesterday was just another day

Today I thought about you.

Today I waited for you

Today you came around

Today we said nothing to each other

Tomorrow is the day I'll see you again.

Tomorrow will be the day I'll touch your hand

Tomorrow you'll spend time with me

Tomorrow will never happen with us.

courtney's death- but she's not really dead, just moved away

dead hampster in tin foil in my pocket

girl made fun of for having (lips) on her back down where the butt crack should be

wayne brady IMed me about trip to old record store

old record store has crappy russian elevators

old record store had application to fill out for a new kitchen, but i kept messing up the application

i forgot the body and clothes in the car, but had the dead foil hampster in my pocket

run into the girl with the body, we deliver it to the school, and go to the funeral in the gym

mockery of the funeral and see stars singing a johnny cash song? in rememberance

someone cutting susages and forcing them into hot dogs or other way around

• J- is for my real name, and who this is about
• E- is for my envy I'm feeling at the moment
• A- is for all the times this happens
• L- is for losing my mind when i let it take over
• O- is for out of control it can get
• U- is for understanding
  
• S- is for stepping back and not let it get the best of me
• Y- is for you. The one that brings me to jealousy

Old draft finally posted

I hate when I start a blog and never finish it. here's one I wrote over a year ago...

When people ask, "What are you afraid of?" You usually get the answer, "of heights, spiders, dogs, my parents or even the dark", but if you asked me that question, and really wanted to know what i'm scared of, you'd be surprise that it's none of that, but probably something you think is silly. You see the thing that scares me the most is me. I don't know many people that are scared of themselves, in fact, I don't know anyone who is. You're probably thinking, "Why would you be scared of yourself, is it because you look in the mirror, and it shatters when you take a look (ha ha very funny), but no. It's because I've repressed all of my anger and most of my feelings, and I'm afraid that one day, someone is going to push me over the edge.

More unfinished blogs to come ^_^